These guys are my new heroes. Truth, justice, and proper spelling and grammar! Power to the punctuation!

(Hat tip to Patrick McIlheran. Yes, really: English usage is not a conservative or liberal issue. And yes, of course this post’s title is [sic].)

Offensive. Outrageous. Inexcusable.

That was my reaction when syndicated talk radio host (on AM620 WTMJ ) Michael Savage decided to play a "Dead Kennedys" song when he announced that Ted Kennedy had been diagnosed with brain cancer.

As a person who has lost a close relative to brain cancer I can tell you it's nothing to be joked about. Brain cancer is a ruthless cancer that destroys a persons motor functions and robs them of the ability to speak. There was nothing funny about seeing my uncle Don rot away from the inside. He was a vibrant man who in his youth was athletic and very active. There was nothing funny about seeing him shuffle about and it wasn't hilarious to see lose his ability to speak or to see him drooling in the latter stages of his cancer.

It's been over ten years since I lost my uncle Don and now Senator Ted Kennedy will likely face that same decline. Perhaps Savage doesn't understand the ravages of this disease. Savage was not funny, he was just cruel.

While republicans condemn democrat Barack Obama for the words of his former pastor, nothing is being said about who the GOP nominee, John McCain, is cozying up with. In this video clip, McCain calls Pastor Ralph Parsley "a moral compass, a spiritual guide". Parsley say Islam is the greatest religious enemy of the world and America's purpose is to see Islam destroyed.

 McCain has yet to reject Parsley. And we're still talking about a former (keyword former) pastor of Obama why?

YouTube Link  

Update: Hat tip to Paul Soglin of Waxing America for this story about another nut case McCain is connected to.

  

That was quite a bold stand Patrick McIlheran took in Sunday’s Journal Sentinel, disapproving of the Sheboygan mother who got drunk and shot her 8-year-old with a BB gun on a bet from her boyfriend. Seriously, who in the world is defending this woman? The Dirtbag Mothers of America?

It’s not as if McIlheran was making any political points (though I suppose it’s possible to read into his “Quick Hit” a general criticism of single mothers). He didn’t even blame the government!

Not that many people get to use the Journal Sentinel editorial page as their pulpit. Is it too much to ask that those who have that privilege actually have something to say?

This is a reprint from an email sent to me. I do not know the original sources.
–
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.

Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Gordon Brown MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.

The House of Representatives and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium.” Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour’; skipping the letter ‘U’ is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter ‘Z’ (pronounced ‘zed’ not ‘zee’) and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”

You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’ e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary.” Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “uhh”, “like”, and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

Look up “interspersed.”

There will be no more ‘bleeps’ in the Jerry Springer show. If you’re not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn’t have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won’t have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents — Scottish dramas such as “Taggart” will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.

While we’re talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is “Devon.” If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become “shires” e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.

British sit-coms such as “Men Behaving Badly” or “Red Dwarf” will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can’t cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. Popular British films such as the Italian Job and the Wicker Man should never be remade.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American “football.” There are other types of football such as Rugby, Aussie Rules & Gaelic football. However proper football - which will no longer be known as soccer, is the best known, most loved and most popular. What you refer to as American “football” is not a very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays “American” football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).

We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2010.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the ‘World Series’ for a game which is not played outside of North America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls’ game called “rounders,” which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don’t believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. The 4th of July is no longer a public holiday. The 2nd of November will be a new national holiday, but only in Britain. It will be called “Indecisive Day.”

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call ‘French fries’ are not real chips. Fries aren’t even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.

Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling “beer” is not actually beer at all, it is lager . From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” The substances formerly known as “American Beer” will henceforth be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as “Weak Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine.” This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From the 10th of November the UK will harmonise petrol (or “gasoline,” as you will be permitted to keep calling it until the 1st of April) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon — get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.
Contact Info Website: www.fco.gov.uk
Office: Foreign & Commonwealth Office
Street: King James Street
City/Town: London

It’s a sad commentary but the current County Board Chairman, Lee Holloway, won re-election from his collegues on the County Board largely based on the politics of race.

Holloway managed to get all African-American supervisors as well as the one Latino supervisor to vote for him lock-step. It took over 30 rounds of voting from the 10 member board to wear out his opponents but Holloway was victorious in the end. In his last two elections to the leadership position, Holloway pledged to take more of a hands-on approach to governing. Unfortunately Holloway did not live up to his hands-on promise for much of his last term and when it comes to standing up against neo-conservative County Executive Scott Walker, Holloway has been meek.

What the County Board needs is a reform that requires elimination rounds in their elections for Chairman. Had this been the case, the several mini coalitions that refused to condense under the top two candidate would have been forced to choose between the two that had the most impressive numbers on their side.

Clearly Holloway would have been one of the finalists in a race under these reforms and he probably would have won anyway, but at least the board wouldn’t have felt forced into voting for a candidate the majority wouldn’t have wanted.

But there are other nuances in this recent race that are noteworthy. One of the candidates for Chairman, Gerry Broderick decided last minute that he would make for a great Chairman. While I won’t make any judgment on his abilities or qualifications, it’s out of the ordinary and difficult when others who were established candidates find someone like Broderick who appears to be out to win this for himself rather than to provide a voice in contrast to Walker.

Essentially, Broderick’s late entry into the race meant there were 5 candidates vying to chair the 19 member board. Of these candidates, Holloway had 8 of the 19 votes locked up due more to ethnic and racial loyalty rather than commitment to leadership. Another vote, freshman Supervisor Theo Lipscomb, was not going to vote against Holloway because he represents a primarily African American district and he believes he should vote the will of his district.

The other Supervisors, not bound by racial loyalty, were fractured not only with their votes, but with their own personal ideologies. Conservatives didn’t feel they could vote for a liberal and Supervisor Jim “Luigi” Schmidt, who would have been palatable to the conservatives, has the reputation for supporting most of Walker’s policies so the liberals couldn’t vote for him.

With the race coming down to Holloway or Schmidt, Broderick (who in the end succumbed), supported Holloway and was rewarded for his loyalty and is now the Chairman of the Parks committee. Almost all Supervisors who supported Holloway have now been rewarded by leadership positions on the County Board.

None of this is to say that Holloway is incapable. To the contrary, he is one of the most politically savvy members of the board and if he were to actually lead in this next term he would be a force to be reakoned with. Unfortunately his track record doesn’t leave voters with much hope.