One of the behind the scenes things we deal with in publishing Watchdog Milwaukee is the constant barrage of spam.  The thousands of spam messages we receive each week is one of the reasons we have our comments set to moderated.  We have utilities to automatically delete 95% of them but many still have to be manually analyzed.

The spammers have taken a new tact — they're sending jokes out and at the end they'll attach their links.  These jokes are sometimes pretty good.  Here's a sampling with the advertising clipped out of course.  They're not terribly good at punctuation but you get the point.

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100…. Then the reality of the situation hit him. “What am I doing?” he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”
The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer

And one more for good measure:

married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labour pain to the FATHER.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour if it.The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain that the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.The doctor checked the husbands’ blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the milkman was dead in the porch.

And here's a beaut'

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my tempers.

We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big f***ing red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he’ll buy me a diamond!!!

Finally…

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, “I’ve never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, “I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, ‘bang, bang’ and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?”

The 90-year-old said, “I’d say somebody else killed that rabbit.”

The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”